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Artist_335: A work in progress
Created on 2005-11-06 15:00:25 (#8727817), last updated 2008-11-18
90 comments received, 34 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
136 Journal Entries, 11 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 4 Userpics
Basic Info BioName: Kass
Age: 21
*MOST OF MY POSTS ARE FRIENDS-ONLY*
I grew up in a middle-class family in Altona. I was quite reclusive; keeping to myself, drawing, playing outside with nature and local wildlife. In school I was a good student, 'teacher's pet', always had people I called my friends (not good friends) and voluntarily spent a lot of time alone or chatting with teachers. My peers said they considered me approachable but strange. I moved between public and private schools, surprised at the differences.
I skipped a little in school and left half way through year 11 when I was 15. A few years at home looking for some direction and new friends saw me come in contact with a new companion, Jarrod. We got along well, and lived together for three years.
After Jarrod and I broke up I moved out on my own and found a girlfriend, Taylor. Taylor and I were together 6 months. She and I both had a lot of problems with each other and realised if it was ever going to work between us it wouldnt be for another year or longer, and parted ways.
I have been single since mid 2007. Go ahead... count the months! eek! lol
My current aim is to finally get my own self, mind, body, and life sorted out. If I do this it will take me approximately one year alone.
History has left me scarred, and much as I would like to think it doesnt effect me, it does. Someone is behind bars and wont be out for another 9 years or so.
I'm always intrigued by what causes people to be the way they are. Everything can be changed once consciously aware.
Not whinging, just analysing for curiousity: During my childhood I was emotionally neglected/ignored (so I learnt to block/numb my emotions and have not developed much sense of appropriate emotional boundaries, nor developed much awareness towards knowing what/how I feel) , physically abused (my reactions cannot distinguish between fake-violence to real violence; all violence makes me totally withdraw; I dont watch horror films), my lifestyle was highly scheduled/structured (so now I have very little sense of spontaneity; I plan everything), no social life outside of school while in school (so I have developed almost no awareness of social propriety or pleasantries, and have feeble interactive skills), I was valued/loved conditionally only when my worldly achievemnts were at the peak of competitive levels (so procrastination is my way of life, and trying is worse than doing nothing because trying risks failing and thus gives tangible proof of my inabilities/worthlessness), criticized daily over my physical appearance (so I'm incredibly self-conscious and self-obsessed over my flaws and failings).
I'm still not where I want to be, mentally, emotionally, or physically, but there are changes underway.
*Although I usually allow comments, and do read comments to my posts, I rarely ever reply to comments.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY READ MY POSTS:
http://artist-335.livejournal.com/2006/06/07/
Age: 21
*MOST OF MY POSTS ARE FRIENDS-ONLY*
I grew up in a middle-class family in Altona. I was quite reclusive; keeping to myself, drawing, playing outside with nature and local wildlife. In school I was a good student, 'teacher's pet', always had people I called my friends (not good friends) and voluntarily spent a lot of time alone or chatting with teachers. My peers said they considered me approachable but strange. I moved between public and private schools, surprised at the differences.
I skipped a little in school and left half way through year 11 when I was 15. A few years at home looking for some direction and new friends saw me come in contact with a new companion, Jarrod. We got along well, and lived together for three years.
After Jarrod and I broke up I moved out on my own and found a girlfriend, Taylor. Taylor and I were together 6 months. She and I both had a lot of problems with each other and realised if it was ever going to work between us it wouldnt be for another year or longer, and parted ways.
I have been single since mid 2007. Go ahead... count the months! eek! lol
My current aim is to finally get my own self, mind, body, and life sorted out. If I do this it will take me approximately one year alone.
History has left me scarred, and much as I would like to think it doesnt effect me, it does. Someone is behind bars and wont be out for another 9 years or so.
I'm always intrigued by what causes people to be the way they are. Everything can be changed once consciously aware.
Not whinging, just analysing for curiousity: During my childhood I was emotionally neglected/ignored (so I learnt to block/numb my emotions and have not developed much sense of appropriate emotional boundaries, nor developed much awareness towards knowing what/how I feel) , physically abused (my reactions cannot distinguish between fake-violence to real violence; all violence makes me totally withdraw; I dont watch horror films), my lifestyle was highly scheduled/structured (so now I have very little sense of spontaneity; I plan everything), no social life outside of school while in school (so I have developed almost no awareness of social propriety or pleasantries, and have feeble interactive skills), I was valued/loved conditionally only when my worldly achievemnts were at the peak of competitive levels (so procrastination is my way of life, and trying is worse than doing nothing because trying risks failing and thus gives tangible proof of my inabilities/worthlessness), criticized daily over my physical appearance (so I'm incredibly self-conscious and self-obsessed over my flaws and failings).
I'm still not where I want to be, mentally, emotionally, or physically, but there are changes underway.
*Although I usually allow comments, and do read comments to my posts, I rarely ever reply to comments.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY READ MY POSTS:
http://artist-335.livejournal.com/2006/06/07/
ConnectInterests (28):
androgynes, being surrounded by trees, body and face painting, conversations with god, cooking, cosmetics, costumes, daria, david attenborough documentaries, drawing, dvds/movies, fashion design, ftm, gay, gender, lesbian, mtf, national parks, new age, painting, red dwarf comedy series, reiki, relaxation massage, singing, sketching, special-effects, spirituality, time with friends
External Services:
 | artist_335@livejournal.com | |
 | fantasygirl3mystery | LJ Messenger Status: offline |
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